im Westen nichts neues…

I should write something but I don’t feel like it. :(

The day at work is long and the evening is unspectacular because I am so exhausted emotionally. Additionally the upcoming autumn has hit me hard.. making me “comfortably numb”… having late shift for the first time this week, not really enjoying it. the day’s completely wasted that way.

But: I found myself something like a rythm, finally.. Going home after work only to go shopping. Then to prepare dinner and do whatever is left to do from the day, paperwork, money, whatever. I hate doing such stuff but I also know that it has to be done.
Did Anna educate me or did I realize that myself? I wonder…

it’s late.. again.. got to sleep or I will look tomorrow like I feel now ;)

blackpaw.kullen goes offline

I’m finally moving out of my appartement in Aachen.

Somehow I feel unhappy because I know that if I shut the PC down now, it will not go back online. never again. :(

Farewell, Aachen, it was a lot of fun with you.

this and that.. and pictures of “it” ;)

It’s been some time I found time to sit and write here.. things are really going in fast-forward these days. My new job turns out to be really nice and challenging, I like the atmosphere there very much. Well, let’s see how I think in 6 months, I have made similar statements before. :P

Anyway, there is pictures from it, the small one, the one without gender or name.
(can you guess where the head and where the belly is?)
it on 28 or september
It’s still hard to believe but this is gonna be something between Anna and myself. Anna thinks it’s a little weird, I think it’s crazy.. all in all I think it’s magic :)

I am about to travel to Aachen to retrieve my old PC, some tools and stuff from there, meet some people and clean my room to pass it on to the next student that will live there (and hopefully have a longer career there)

Somehow I am not motivated at all to do that.. on the one hand that may be due to my nature to disregard things from the past and just ignore them and wait for the grass “to grow over it” as we say in German.
Things like old bills, lawsuits, exams, etc. ;)
On the other hand autumn has struck here badly. It’s misty and foggy and wet and cold and.. *yuck* just terrible.

I’m glad I found the motivation to register at the Verizon Business fitness club and work out twice a week, that really helps to keep the emotions at a steady level. Otherwise I would freak out completely in this fast-paced world.

What I really dislike is this feeling of “being busy” that I have of lately.. maybe I am just getting old and inflexible but somehow I have things to attend or to do all the time, may it be shopping, may it be writing letters, arranging this, doing that, always something else to do.. no time to sit down and – heh – write in this thing and clarify my mind.. no time to chat with friends without thinking of the time, no time to idle and let the mind loose…
I fear it is going to stay like this now.. the days of youth and happiness have finally ended and I wil have to take my place in the second row, making space for the next generation that is going to be born in April 2007. Oh well.. it’s really tempting to get into a gloomy mood when I look out of the window. Let’s get dressed and to the central station before I talk myself into something.

Oh, and I really want to know how Siepke reacts to “it” once he finds out that he will not sleep between us anymore as there is “it” now. Somehow, I don’t think he will like this. ;)
I almost threw him against the wall in the bedroom for being extremely nervous and nasty at 7 a.m. on a saturday(!). The fuzzy bastard won’t get food from me today :P

so long..
Ah, and something else: I removed the obligatory logon to use the site.. should anyone feel the need to comment on what I “produce” here he or she can go right ahead now.
I am now protected by SpamKarma

brain-washed

after 2 weeks of training at verizon I really feel braindead.
Monday I will finally be starting with my new job and.. it doesn’t look like it’s going to be boring there.
They already offered me a lot of training, so I can get lots and lots of qualifications in the next months.

but now, I just want to have a relaxed weekend and talk to noone. Just… relax.