fitting / blending in

so many years ago I thought i had finally found my crowd – I was mistaken. They accepted me, but i was never a part of it. Why? I have never found out… I probably did not commit enough (well, that’s what I thought) – this repeated itself over and over again over the years.

Many years later, I am now sporting a proper aversion to any kind of group affiliation, immediately trying to blend in vs. being afraid to commit

Why do I always want to “belong” somewhere? Why can I not just accept that I am – me?

And not “part of something” or “piece of something else”. Seriously I hate being part of the human race at this moment. Just leave me alone, whoever you are. I don’t like you. I am not your friend. Please go away.

that’s a mood, I guess