still sick

I can’t believe I am still sick..

I think I might have to go to the doc and fetch some antibiotics if it doesn’t stop, soon. :(

Problem is, my brain is just not working.. I can receive orders and do things but anything that involves thinking, fails.
Hmm.. as if it was any different, before :P

to mac or not to mac

Well, there I finally got a new laptop on friday, a shiny sexy white MacBook (yay!) and what happens? Anna goes on a business-trip on monday and her employer fails to provide her with a laptop. So I give it to her.. no big deal. (At least, that’s what I thought.)
It’s been 9 a.m. when she left for the airport and now it’s 1 p.m. and I am starting to get nervous.. maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all :P

Anyway, I cought a flu (no kidding!) and cannot do anything anyway because I am in a state between headache, confusion and coughing. Unpleasant.

It’s 35 degree out there and I am having a cold.. how sick is that!?!?!?

motivation

people like catzee can motivate me in a few minutes.. for hours.

why can’t I motivate myself like this?
why do I always need people to pull me into things.. like going to study?

Finally I find some motivation to stay in Aachen but I am needed in Amsterdam now. Or very soon.. and I cannot leave here without this §”$%* bachelors degree.
Fuck myself for being such a indecisive and lazy person.. lazy? maybe just unmotivated.

It’s such a beautiful time at the moment, summer at its finest and everything looks good I am just fucking with myself. :(

life sucks big deal at the moment..

good vibrations

apart from the fact that I have lost almost any motivation for my studies (which is bad…) life is incredibly good at the moment.

Anna was over this weekend (and will come back again next weekend) and we felt like on vacation. I registered for the sauna in my dorm and the only thing that was missing was the massage.. but we were too lazy :P

The Weather-god also plays nice with Aachen at the moment.
aachen july 2006

Life is GOOOOOOOOD :)

Later today I will have to find myself someone where I can wash my pants and t-shirts.. I just couldn’t let Anna go back to Amsterdam with a backpack full of laundry :P

And I will have to find a way to myself back on track with my studies.. no idea how but I can’t study all my life.. unfortunately.

freelancer!

I have been somehwat unhappy with the job at the helpdesk of lately. Not because it’s a bad job, on the contrary, it’s the best job I ever had. :)
Helping people and getting money for it, a dream!

But:
First of all, the opening hours are typical business-hours.. the ones where I am most creative. And I think I should use these for more “useful” things like studying..
On the other hand, it’s a little unsatisfying.
I just want.. more. More freedom, more flexibility, more energy (and more money) ;)
It’s been a dream of mine to become a freelancer for a long time. (actually since I had my first job as an employee)

Well, Since this week I am ;)

A good friend finally encouraged me to get myself a business registration and become a freelancer. Apart from the amount of tax work that I have to do now and the fact that I start from zero I finally can work whenever, whereever and whatever I want.
And he gives me lots of projects to prove myself. :)

Thanks for your support and thanks for the trust you have in me..
I will send you a nice bill now every month ;)

know that feeling?

you finally have eliminated all distractions, jobs, telephone calls and chats that keep you from studying. Everything is ready for relaxed studying and reading textbooks.

Of course this is the point on which the neighbour above your appartement will begin renovating his kitchen again (with a pneumatic hammer – don’t ask me what kind of kitchen that will become)

it’s pretty funny actually because by the sounds above me I can somehow picture where they are working at the moment and what they are doing.
The drilling/hammering has stopped and they seem to be dragging things around..

ohwell :)

at least Anna is back, that makes it all irrelevant. :D

tolerance

sometimes.. it’s difficult to be tolerant.

For example if the ones that live above you are installing a new kitchen and the one below you has his Karaoke-Machine on (again). And you are supposed to study :P

The problem is not that he has it set to a high volume, mind you… but he can’t sing!
Every time he tries to sind Bryan Adams or Robbie Williams my toe-nails begin rolling themselves up.

I wonder if he is unemployed.. or a student himself.. doing karaoke at these times.

Anything else? Oh, Siepke snores. Such a weird cat. :)

the importance of sports

these days I work out in the evening just before the light is away for the air is nicely chill then.
I promised Anna to take the bike and make one hour trips through the waterland every evening but I decided I’d better work out one hour and really get me all tired, sweating and painful the next morning. I basically do warming up, crunches, pushups, then stretching and when I am really warm I do some KungFu training. Whatever I can recall from the time in Maastricht is being done: Basic stands, punches, blocks, kicks and forms.
Somehow I want a sand-sack badly to have something to beat up :P

Why am I doing this? Because it makes me feel good. Balanced. Happy.

Well, I am a lazy person. I don’t like to do things that I don’t feel like doing.
But when I only sit around and [s]waste time[/s] do what I feel like doing I get melancholic and thoughtful. I begin questioning my existence, life, the universe and everything. Noone likes me when I am in this mood – especially Anna :P

It’s a downward spiral that can only be escaped by hitting it – hard.
In that case, I have to fight myself in order to help myself. Pretty ironic ;)
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