today we visited two daycare centers close to our home.. becoming a family soon requires such stuff, I guess :)
It was a lot of fun and we had lots of nice moments there, but what really made me memorize this day is the effect that being there had on me.
I mean, I don’t really remember a lot of things from my childhood till 6 years or so.. just some fragments and images.
Now, being in this place, seeing children, 1-4 years old, playing with each other, laughing, crying..
seeing small rubber boots size.. what do I know, 20 cm long maximum, seeing wardrobe / hangers for coats that reach just up to to your knees.. each of them labeled with some animal sticker and a name..
This triggered some very colourful, really emotional reactions in my brain.
I was amazed how much detail all of a sudden came back to me. Images and situations from my pre-school times.

It’s 1:30 in the morning now and I am still excited… oh my :)

today it was < 5 degree celsius in Amsterdam and the whole day was nicely dry and crisp. but coooold. so when I came home siepke was unhappy (well, he is always unhappy when we leave him alone but this time he had cold paws) So I took his whiskas and warmed it up in the microwave. He is on purring in my lap now and I can't remove him anymore :D What else is happening? My father has complained that I don't post anymore, he is using my blog as a means to learn english. :) Please, I am writing here to create a permanent memory, not to educate or entertain people. Nevertheless, I am honoured :) At work, I am getting into the rhythm finally, taking it easy and focussing, while taking my breaks and not overdoing it. Afterwards, off to the gym with me and 1 hour of heavy workout.. that's sooo cool. just relaxing and having a head that is completely empty after sport. Then home to do whatever.. Life at the moment just feels good and for the first time in my life I am not scared to have a regular scheme but I enjoy it because it allows me to plan and schedule other things. Among them: - re-designing the guestroom into a baby-room - learning about networks and such (I got my cisco login, yay!) - maintenance and service for the motorcycle (lots of parts need to be replaced) - thinking about bying a car (toyota aygo is just too cute) - arranging a daycare for our child - a rough planning of 2007 Now, 5 years ago, I would have kicked myself in the butt for such a statement.. for being pathetic. I guess I've grown up. :P but just a liiiiitle ;)

This weekend I tool the time again to “play” with my computer and I came up with something nifty. ;)

I used my old PC (Athlon 800Mhz) and did a fresh install of ubuntu “edgy” and a couple of hours later, following a couple of guides on the internet (thanks, guys) I had MythTV running on my old TV.
It’s all open source and I am amazed what it can do.

This thing plays DVDs, DIvX/XviD/OGM movies, my music collection, my photos, fetches the weather, records TV, cuts advertisements out, can be programmed from the web, contains a ftp-server to upload new things, streams music and TV, fetches new stuff via bt, it’s virtually limitless :)

Now all I need is a wireless keyboard and a beamer :D

I should write something but I don’t feel like it. :(

The day at work is long and the evening is unspectacular because I am so exhausted emotionally. Additionally the upcoming autumn has hit me hard.. making me “comfortably numb”… having late shift for the first time this week, not really enjoying it. the day’s completely wasted that way.

But: I found myself something like a rythm, finally.. Going home after work only to go shopping. Then to prepare dinner and do whatever is left to do from the day, paperwork, money, whatever. I hate doing such stuff but I also know that it has to be done.
Did Anna educate me or did I realize that myself? I wonder…

it’s late.. again.. got to sleep or I will look tomorrow like I feel now ;)

I’m finally moving out of my appartement in Aachen.

Somehow I feel unhappy because I know that if I shut the PC down now, it will not go back online. never again. :(

Farewell, Aachen, it was a lot of fun with you.

It’s been some time I found time to sit and write here.. things are really going in fast-forward these days. My new job turns out to be really nice and challenging, I like the atmosphere there very much. Well, let’s see how I think in 6 months, I have made similar statements before. :P

Anyway, there is pictures from it, the small one, the one without gender or name.
(can you guess where the head and where the belly is?)

It’s still hard to believe but this is gonna be something between Anna and myself. Anna thinks it’s a little weird, I think it’s crazy.. all in all I think it’s magic :)

I am about to travel to Aachen to retrieve my old PC, some tools and stuff from there, meet some people and clean my room to pass it on to the next student that will live there (and hopefully have a longer career there)

Somehow I am not motivated at all to do that.. on the one hand that may be due to my nature to disregard things from the past and just ignore them and wait for the grass “to grow over it” as we say in German.
Things like old bills, lawsuits, exams, etc. ;)
On the other hand autumn has struck here badly. It’s misty and foggy and wet and cold and.. *yuck* just terrible.

I’m glad I found the motivation to register at the Verizon Business fitness club and work out twice a week, that really helps to keep the emotions at a steady level. Otherwise I would freak out completely in this fast-paced world.

What I really dislike is this feeling of “being busy” that I have of lately.. maybe I am just getting old and inflexible but somehow I have things to attend or to do all the time, may it be shopping, may it be writing letters, arranging this, doing that, always something else to do.. no time to sit down and – heh – write in this thing and clarify my mind.. no time to chat with friends without thinking of the time, no time to idle and let the mind loose…
I fear it is going to stay like this now.. the days of youth and happiness have finally ended and I wil have to take my place in the second row, making space for the next generation that is going to be born in April 2007. Oh well.. it’s really tempting to get into a gloomy mood when I look out of the window. Let’s get dressed and to the central station before I talk myself into something.

Oh, and I really want to know how Siepke reacts to “it” once he finds out that he will not sleep between us anymore as there is “it” now. Somehow, I don’t think he will like this. ;)
I almost threw him against the wall in the bedroom for being extremely nervous and nasty at 7 a.m. on a saturday(!). The fuzzy bastard won’t get food from me today :P

so long..
Ah, and something else: I removed the obligatory logon to use the site.. should anyone feel the need to comment on what I “produce” here he or she can go right ahead now.
I am now protected by SpamKarma

after 2 weeks of training at verizon I really feel braindead.
Monday I will finally be starting with my new job and.. it doesn’t look like it’s going to be boring there.
They already offered me a lot of training, so I can get lots and lots of qualifications in the next months.

but now, I just want to have a relaxed weekend and talk to noone. Just… relax.

In the morning, the A10 (the ring around Amsterdam) features something, that most drivers hate, the morning congestion. Everyone knows it’s there, yet noone shares their car and all of them ride alone in their cars. Idiots! ;)
Now, let’s use public transport, I thought.. bad idea, takes even longer. (50 minutes)

So I got my motorcycle out and drove on the congested highway with it. Only to find another 2 motorcyclists there.. with them we made some space between the left and the middle lane and we went through the jammed cars. It was like in a video-game, fast and exciting. Took me 12 minutes instead of 50 to reach Verizon. Yay! :D

What impressed me was the willingness of all the car drivers to let motorcycles pass.. I mean, ever tried that in Germany? Even if it’s officially allowed to sneak through traffic jams and red lights the Germans will then drive closer to the next car not to allow you to pass or even open their doors :P
It’s a jungle out there after all.. :D

The downside was the adrenaline-shock that this caused (remember 80 kph and 10 cm on each side of the bike). Basically I didn’t need any coffee till lunch and was quite shaky. ;)

being alone – not nice
going out alone – not nice
eating alone – not nice
sleeping alone – not nice
coming home from work to be alone – not nice at all

Gods, how I miss her. I behave like a dog that howls at the moon.
Well, at least I realized that it’s her that makes me feel like that. After trying to explain with 1001 other reasons ;)

I survived my first week of work at Verizon business. yay! :)

After being super-excited and actually a little nervous the first days (which apparently manifests in me talking a lot and asking a lot of questions – yes, even more questions!) they decided to give me IP training on the third day.
This was like a dream. Finally I was told the secrets of these things (Routers, switches, and so on..) that I had been using for years already but never managed to understand _how_ they work. They even told me that there is the possibility to get a Cisco CCNA certification once I have a fixed contract (not before march 2007, though) and they even pay the exam :D

anyway, it is far better than I imagined and the people are really nice. (plus I like the idea to work for the people that run the fastest and the largest Internet backbone of the earth) :P

Now I will have a quick shower and then go to the city to meet my new colleages at the irish pub. The guy I am going to replace is officialy celebrating his goodbye. (No, he left,. I just happened to come to the office for the first time on his last day)

I always wondered why IT people and callcenter people always hang out in irish pubs..

But now it’s Friday, Anna is in New York, Tuesday I will get my first salary and it’s time to go socializing! :D